Monday, January 18, 2010

The Hardest Post


I am having a hard time posting this today, but Kyler keeps reminding me of what today is. Eleven years ago today I gave birth to my first child. He was a perfect 1 pound baby boy who meant the world to me! He wasn't supposed to come until June of 1999 but as we all know things don't always work out the way they are "supposed" to. Riley Bruce Scott died when my water broke and I had to deliver a baby that I knew was not alive. Because of an amazing doctor, nurses and family I was able to push through the pain (literally) and deliver my perfect little baby.

At the time I didn't understand why this had to happen to me, but now 11 years later I know that it was actually what was "supposed" to happen all along. Without the problems that I had with Riley I would not have know that I have an incompetent cervix and I had to be stitched up with each of my other pregnancies. Riley brought Ben and I closer and I am grateful that he blessed our lives and let us be his parents.

Now we have the challenge to live so that we can see him again when our time here on earth is over. But for now I have to take comfort knowing that grandpa Bruce is taking care of him for us and loving every minute of it. Who could ask for anything better? Happy Birthday Riley, we all love you very much and can't wait to be with you again.

7 comments:

kylerscott.blogspot.com said...

iam so sorry mom but you will see him agin .

Malea said...

It was so hard to be outside your room and hear you suffer inside like that. That was such a hard year for both of us. It's nice to have the knowledge like we do now, but I'm am so glad that that time is over. Now you have three beautiful children that are being watched over by their older brother. To me, that thought is precious.

LisaJ said...

I was crying hard enough reading your post, but then Kyler's comment made me cry even harder. What a wonderful mother you obviously are. Even your children understand that you'll be with Riley again. They are lucky to have such a great mother!

Tiffani said...

When I saw that picture of you with that tiny baby my heart dropped, he looked so much like my little Danny. It is hard to think that 11 years from now I will still miss him like you miss Riley. Im glad that Kyler made you post this sweet tribute to your little boy.

The Caffeinated Chef said...

I cant believe its been that long, we love you guys

JeNNy said...

Its Crazy how at the moment you wonder why me but when you look at the bigger picture you realize it was meant to happen, I have had things happen to me that were challenging at the moment but now I am grateful for it. You are such a strong person I look up to you for that...We love you all tonz!!

The Palmers said...

This is a story I did not know about you. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad for your healthy positive outlook.